Kissing seems like it would be one of those instinctive things humans do — like yawning, stretching or scratching. After all, what is the big deal about two pairs of lips locking together?
However, some kisses can be relationship-ending turnoffs. A bad kiss can be so stomach-churning that the recipient never wants to encounter your lips again. A kiss can be so repulsive that the thought of your lips touching theirs makes them want to heave.
Pucker up
Don’t think you’ll get past first base if you are a bad kisser. According to a study in the journal Evolutionary Psychology, 70 per cent of women have said that they have fancied someone up until their (awful) first kiss.
One-shot wonder
You only get one first kiss, and be warned she’s judging you on it. “The first kiss involves a very complicated exchange of information,” says evolutionary psychologist Gordon G. Gallup from the University at Albany, USA. “Women subconsciously use that first kiss to tell whether or not they’re compatible with you by using clues like the smell of your breath and taste of your mouth.”
Kiss off: Don’t suck a mint before you lean in – a clean, smell-free mouth is best. A study by the University of Albany found that women interpret a clean, scent-free mouth to be free from disease. Cleanse your palette by skipping coffee. Instead, order a cup of green tea, recenty proven to relieve bad breath in s study by the University of British Columbia.
Take it slow
“While men use kissing to move on the action to steamier waters, women use it as a bonding act,” says Gallup.
Kiss off: “Don’t go in with the tongue right away,” says Dr Yvonne Fulbright, author of
Touch Me There! A Hands-on Guide to Your Orgasmic Hot Spots, “men see it as being passionate – women see it as being choked. Instead, use time as a tease and get her titillated with simpler manoeuvres before making things wet.”
Start by planting a small tender kiss on each lip before placing soft, dry, relaxed kisses over the entire mouth. Trace her lips with your fingertips as you gaze into her eyes. This will make her feel wanted and your ability to be patient before diving in will make her feel that you're really savouring the moment before savouring her.
Tongue war
A study by the University of California found that men prefer their kisses to be 33 per cent sloppier and with 11% more tongue than women. This is because, while she’s trying to judge you on your kissing style, you are subtly trying to up the ante by slipping her a hormonal love drug. Male spit is laden with testosterone which, when passed onto an unsuspecting partner, makes them want to get naughty.
Kiss off: Show her that you’re not really the sex-crazed brute she thinks you are. Scientists at Ruhr-University of Bochum, Germany, found that if you tilt your head to the right while kissing it will be interpreted as a more caring kiss.
Brush up
Brush your lips between her throat and chin. The skin is thinner where the body flexes as the nerves and blood vessels are closer to the surface—that’s why it’s also a perfume point, he adds. By doing this, you’ll engage sensory receptors and trigger an emotional response. “It feels very intimate to let a person that close,” says Debby Herbenick, a sex researcher with the Kinsey Institute, Indiana, USA.
Kiss off: “Practise at home by snogging your palm,” says Tracey Cox, sex expert. “Your palm is sensitive enough to pick up on the different tongue techniques and you’ll get a good idea of what works and what doesn’t.”
When in doubt…
“Your mouth is not a Jack-in-the-Box,” say Em and Lo, authors of Nerve's Guide to Sex Etiquette for Ladies and Gentlemen. “Every time you open it, your tongue should not automatically pop out - work up to this most precocious of French manoeuvres.”
Kiss off: “When in doubt, follow this order of operations,” advises Em and Lo:
1. Closed mouth
2. Opened mouth, no tongue
3. Opened mouth, just the hint of tongue
4. Full-on tongue probing
Whether this four-step process takes half hour or 30-seconds, the build-up is infinitely preferable to sticking out one's tongue and saying, ‘ahhh’ as one's patented opening move.
